


Clark and the Beanstalk

by ssa_archivist



Category: Smallville
Genre: Alternate Universe, Humor, M/F - Category, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-10-22
Updated: 2002-10-22
Packaged: 2017-11-01 12:03:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/356537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ssa_archivist/pseuds/ssa_archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*cough* I am really sorry mama goose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Clark and the Beanstalk

## Clark and the Beanstalk

by cheddarandonion

<http://www.eccentrix.com/members/chedz>

* * *

There was a town called Smallville,  
where everybody worked hard to pay the bill and some meteor mutants prowled searching for their kill. 

In the town of Smallville,  
there lived a boy of a very good will.  
The boy lived with his mother,   
and since their father had disappeared, both of them had got to work harder. 

The boy named Clark,   
his hair so dark,   
had one day walked to the farmer's fair in the park. Behind him walked, and moo-ed and sulked, a female cow called Snark. 

In the middle of the road,   
Clark met a toad,   
kissed it and it turned into a boat. 

By midday,   
Clark, his cow, and boat had reached the fair. There he met a man with no hair.   
The man with no hair taught the cow and boat very fair, but it is Clark he cared. 

So, the man called Lex,   
bought the boat and car,   
but caused Clark to vex. 

"Three little beans! Three little beans!" shouted Clark, "three little beans for my cow and boat, how stupid have I been." 

So Clark went home   
and both him and his mother had no dinner. Clark went up to bed feeling like a sinner. 

The next day, the beans he threw   
had already grew,   
into a beanstalk   
into the heavens brew. 

He also found standing on the ground  
The bald man with a lot of food, pound upon pound. 

So, every day, the bald man came,  
With food and money and help and excuses so lame, For he to visit Clark and say his name. 

"What was up that tree?"  
Asked Clark after a plate of lunch then tea. 

"Home of a monster,  
Called Lionel Luthor."  
Answered Lex with a little shudder. 

So Clark climbed up, but after a few  
He grew tired so he flew. 

Upon the clouds he saw a huge castle  
Very silent, no hustle or bustle. 

He walked into the castle and saw a figure, Very much like his father. 

"Look, who's here,"  
Said his father.  
Clark, my son is here."  
Then at a booming voice they faltered. 

"Quick, Clark, come here and hide,  
In the cupboard, you will hide." 

"Hello, Luthor, I thought you've died," Said Clark's father to his side. 

"Fat chance, Kent,"  
And for dinner Luthor went. 

For dinner also went Clark's father,  
and both of them threw food at each other. After that Luthor played with his expensive snifter, And fell asleep drunk as an otter. 

So, out came Clark from the rack,  
Took the bottle and placed it in a sack, and superspeeded back. 

Down below, his mother waited,  
And when Clark presented  
the bottle, she was well elated,  
for Lex had offered,  
A lot of money in a coffer. 

The next day,  
Clark flew up and away,  
To that castle so cold and gray. 

He walked into the castle and saw a figure, Very much like his father. 

"Look, who's here,"  
Said his father.  
Clark, my son is here."  
Then at a booming voice they faltered. 

"Quick, Clark, come here and hide,  
In the cupboard, you will hide." 

"Hello, Luthor, I thought you've died," Said Clark's father to his side. 

"Fat chance, Kent,"  
And for dinner Luthor went. 

For dinner also went Clark's father,  
and both of them threw food at each other. After that Luthor played with his expensive blotter, Fell asleep on the couch but he didn't bother. 

So, out came Clark from the rack,  
Took the blotter and placed it in a sack, and superspeeded back. 

Down below, his mother waited,  
And when Clark presented  
the blotter, she was well elated,  
for Lex had again offered,  
A lot of money in a coffer. 

On the third day,  
Clark flew up and away,  
To that castle so cold and gray. 

He walked into the castle and saw a figure, Very much like his father. 

"Look, who's here,"  
Said his father.  
Clark, my son is here."  
Then at a booming voice they faltered. 

"Quick, Clark, come here and hide,  
In the cupboard, you will hide." 

"Hello, Luthor, I thought you've died," Said Clark's father to his side. 

"Fat chance, Kent,"  
And for dinner Luthor went. 

For dinner also went Clark's father,  
and both of them threw food at each other. After that Luthor played with Clark's father, Fell asleep on the couch but he didn't bother. 

So, out came Clark from the rack,  
Took the father and placed carried him on his back, and superspeeded back. 

Down below, his mother waited,  
And when Clark presented  
his father, she was well elated,  
for Lex had offered,  
To marry Clark that winter. 

We didn't know what happened,  
To the Luthor monster up in heaven,  
He could be singing, or cultivated beans, even. 

**-FIN-**

Note:  
I really have nothing against Mother Goose, and I really have nothing against Lionel. But it's hard to make it rhyme as it is (what with my limited vocabulary). 


End file.
